A letter from Tayllor: why I stepped away from Forget Me Knots, and why I came back
Hey friends. It probably seems like I fell off of the face of the earth.
It kind of did feel like I was on a different planet sometimes. Facing the dark/hard/scary things inside you can do that.
That’s why I’m writing to you now, to share what happened in the past few years when I’ve been silent, and how Forget Me Knots fits into all of this. It’s messy. It’s real. Even writing this, it feels awkward and harsh. But my commitment to you is to be 100% transparent, just as you’ve been with sharing your stories.
I launched Forget Me Knots in 2015, and was thrilled and humbled by how fast it grew (that’s ALL you guys—thank you). But as my business flourished, my inner world was slowly falling apart.
It was a gradual fade that led to my mental breakdown, and descent into severe anxiety and depression. I remember that suffocating feeling, so afraid that I would never, ever be able to get rid of the tightness in my chest, the crippling panic attacks, my inability to leave my room.
After a mentorship session with the lovely Eryn Eddy of So Worth Loving at Yellow Conference, I finally started what would become two years of intensive therapy. Definitely one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
As I dove into some of the darkest, scariest parts of my story, I knew without a doubt that I needed to stop pouring myself into a business and start pouring into my healing full-time.
What plagued me then and after I stepped away from Forget Me Knots in 2016 was this belief: I had NO idea who I was, so who was I to encourage others in that area?
Now here we are, years later. Many anxiety attacks, depressive spurts, counselling sessions, supportive friends, God-encounters, and breakthroughs later. I certainly don’t have it all figured out, not even close. And my journey is far from over.
But I can tell you this: identity was never about arrival. It’s a journey. One filled with the darkest, ugliest hurt and the most incredible beauty you could ever imagine. And you’re not alone, not for a second.
Everyone has to take on their own transformation. I know that you are more than capable of owning yours. And I stand with you, a fellow messy, in-progress person on the journey.
I wouldn’t be writing this to you now if it weren’t for a handful of amazing humans who held me when the walls felt like they were closing in, who let me wreck their shirts with my ugly cry-mascara combo, who never for a second left me to face the dark alone.
I nearly lost my faith, but as I’ve journeyed through very dark places, I see in hindsight that Jesus never left me, not for a second. And that this too could be used for good, not only to bring the deep healing I so desperately needed, but to help others who are walking through the exact same thing. This gives me hope.
So it’s with fresh vision I’m relaunching Forget Me Knots. Not as someone who’s arrived, but someone who’d love to make the journey with you.
With this growth in myself, I’ve seen that Forget Me Knots is a beautiful dream, but only part of what I want to be able to share with you.
Which is why you won’t find any new knots under @thefmks or thefmks.com, but under my personal brand (@tayllor.co on Instagram, if you wanna hang out).
Firstly, as much as I love to make jewelry, I have other passions that I know I’ve been given so I can serve others. I’m a writer by trade, and I want to share the book I’m working on with you when it’s published. I love public speaking, and want to continue to speak at events. Basically, Forget Me Knots is part of a whole picture, a larger mission to connect with and encourage amazing people just like you, and how that looks takes different shapes for me.
Second, I don’t want to speak at you from behind a logo. Everything Forget Me Knots stands for, and what I, Tayllor, stand for is authentic connection and vulnerability through sharing our real, messy stories. So it just made sense that I would show up as myself to continue this important conversation of identity with you all. I wouldn’t want to do it any other way.
So, thank you. Thank you, each of you who’s supported me through the last couple years when I was really no fun to be around. And thank you for believing in Forget Me Knots, because it’s really all for you. I’m humbled by your grace, your enthusiasm and your love.
So, what do you say? Are you in for wherever this new direction takes us? I’m in if you are.
Let’s go live our truest identities.